At some point in our lives we stop pretending…
Studying and being a part of 360 student fellowship and meeting my girlfriend has been huge blessing to my life. It’s summer now and my Melody is in Hong Kong. I’ve really used this time to rest and also reflect; then I decided to write this blog.
If you told me 2 years ago I would be aiming for a degree at King’s, lead a fellowship along side a team and have a girlfriend I would tell you “you’re having a laugh.” Let me tell you why.
I was a pretty normal kid two years ago. Drink loads on a night out watching everyone around me, most of them drunk and having a laugh. Blazing every so often with some of the guys. We’d joke about girls but I ALWAYS thought that was out of order and that we should give women the respect their due. Still, my mates and I, and so many other guys take advantage of women. All this was NOT me.
It all changed when I found out who “ME” was. Now I do what I want. I drink socially, don’t smoke whatsoever, give women the respect they’re due. I struggle with some other things, it’s a process, I’m only 20.
But then, what about all the people I offended when I was drunk? Being involved with drugs I even sold some to a kid on my estate. What about him? What about all the women I took advantage off. I didn’t even mention about my money making scams I did over eBay.
I’ve apologised to people. Some cared, some didn’t. Paid a few people refunds, some people I didn’t. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not here to live a life making up for all the wrong things I’ve done. Jesus died for all the incidents. Now I can live.
At some point in our lives we stop pretending. In my case it was when I hurt this girl and I did everything she was telling me to do, and I thought of it as making up for my wrongs and after a year I couldn’t stand it anymore. I wasn’t being real. We’re good friends now.
Only a few months ago someone told me I held them by the collar outside a club. I apologised and told him I’ve changed. We laughed about it and then he even cooked me a steak!
For those that know who you are, they’ll be times that are hard but don’t forget what you know, and be loving. For those pretending, you don’t have to- just go with your heart. For those that don’t care, I thank you for reading.
…My dream is for us all to discover who we truly are.